You Are The Average Of Who You Meet & Keep In Life

This morning, while I was working out in the gym, I overheard a very interesting conversation that reminded me of the very wise old saying that, “you’re the average of the 5 people you hang out with.” So there’s this man in my local gym who’s always taking up one machine for long blocks of time, and I often see him on my workout days. He saw his “Gym buddy” coming over from the other end of the room and started a “conversation” with him. He complained about how much he drank the day before, and how he still feels like throwing up and that’s why he’s not doing his squats today. He went on incessantly.

Then “Gym buddy” joined in on complaining even more about his own current work and life on top of the man’s drinking escapades yesterday. The man cut “Gym buddy” off in the middle of the conversation, realising he’s not talking about him anymore and he wasn’t ready to listen or provide his two cents so he invited him to go outside to take a “smoke break” instead. “Gym buddy” said to him, “I’m actually trying to quit smoking. I started yesterday.” Then the man looked at him with a long disbelieving pause that was half-filled with genuine shock but I can tell he really wanted him to join him for a smoke. So “Gym buddy” made another feeble attempt to convince him once more, but this time in a much weaker tone, and he said again, “I’m serious. I’m really trying to quit.” The man asked him “Why?” like it was a bad decision and foolish thing to do.

So this man started to tell him his own story about how he tried to quit for 4 (short) weeks suffering from all the most horrible withdrawal symptoms and then went back to smoking again. Even though there was no real moral or value to his story, he continued to justify and lay out all his reasons for quitting in great enthusiasm. Then “Gym buddy” turned to asked him, “Then what happened?” He simply said to him, “Nothing. I just went back to square one.” “Gym buddy” paused for a split second and then said, “Fuck it, let’s go.” And they both started discussing about the brand of cigarettes they smoke and suggested to share and split it.

In just less than 2 minutes of sharing his experience of how he tried to quit and fail (in just 4 weeks) he has influenced and convinced someone else to give up their goal and intention in just less than 24 hours. The scary thing is, that was just an acquaintance he probably meet once a month at the gym. There was a period of time I actually preferred my customized workouts from home just so I didn’t let in any chance to even come in contact with any energy that was negative. I became a “vibrational-snob”.

I remember when I started my outdoor runs, (and by that, I mean my short sprints) strangers would just give me all sorts of funny looks like I lost my marbles. A few even came up to me and told me to slow down. “Don’t run so fast.” Perhaps it did come with good intentions, but sometimes, people who’re offering you the most “opinions and advices” are the ones who’re nowhere close to being happy, healthy, or abundant, to even be offering their two cents. They’re usually the ones who’re out of shape, emotionally, and mentally bankrupt. Can you imagine if that person was a friend or even a family member, which usually is the case, who’s constantly talking you out of change? The good kind of change? Is someone in your life holding you back from becoming the best version of yourself?